THE CURSE OF DOWRY

  

 

In India, 

dowry has been followed for quite a long time. Our forefathers came up with this system for valid reasons, but it is now causing problems in society. Even though governments have barred the practice in some countries, the Dowry system is still widely used in many countries, including India. The Dowry system is a curse on our society. This system can be found in cultures and religions in which the daughter and the son were not equally divided between them. Dowry remains in society as the times change, but its meaning changes as well.

Marriage is defined, as a legally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, which brings about joy and happiness and is a celebration of the start of a new family. But it also brings along the social evil called the Dowry System and there is no doubt that it is still prevalent in the 21st century, where science and technology have achieved many milestones. We are here, still struggling with a society that believes in giving dowry due to religious or social constraints or to establish a status symbol, in a society where people consider marriage as a golden opportunity to earn money. 

Dowry is given in the form of cash, car, jewelry, furniture, kind, etc. which is basically given to make the newly married couple financially stable since the newly married bride and groom do not earn enough to meet all their needs. But this does not justify the practice of dowry, if financial support is to be provided then it should be from both sides and not just the brides. 

 Dowry is considered as compensation for giving an educated boy who takes the family’s burden—a girl, forever. A girl is always considered a burden to society and therefore when they attain a certain age, parents believe in marrying them off by agreeing to pay the amount that pleases the groom’s family. But this is not a one-time thing. The bride is tortured and physically abused if she is not able to meet the demands later on.

The groom cannot be held wholly responsible for this practice. Showing off is among the various causes of the Dowry System. In today’s world competition can be seen everywhere, people want to beat others due to which they celebrate lavish weddings, and give luxurious gifts and expensive assets to show off their social standing and please society which puts them in financial crisis. 

The status of women is one of the foremost leading SES. In a society where women are considered to be weak and a burden to the family, marrying them off is the only way of getting rid of them. Social structure has set its own parameters, in which men are considered superior to women in all aspects and it leads to low self-esteem in women and their belief in the fact that girls are a burden on society which ultimately gives rise to problems like domestic violence, female foeticide, gender inequality, etc.

One very common cause is the social and religious constraints, that lead to a reduction of boys for marriage due to the prohibition of inter-caste or inter-religion marriages and leaves the bride with limited options, and to get rid of the burden, the bride’s family agrees to provide a dowry. 

A recent case of opposing social and cultural beliefs can be taken from the Kanjarbhat community, where the couple faced a social boycott for opposing the practice of virginity tests for women. This shows that there is pressure to adhere to such beliefs, customs,,, and practices without questioning them due to which people blindly follow these social norms without busting the myth. 

Lack of education or lack of awareness is the root cause of the Dowry System. Girls are not sent to schools, since society fears the fact that an educated girl won’t adhere to their unreasonable demands and will fight for her rights. Since childhood, girls are taught all the household chores and spend their entire life being good wives, pleasing their husbands in all possible ways. Even today, people are staunch believers that household work is women’s work and that a working lady should keep aside all her dreams and aspirations after getting married or having a child. 

''The problem of Dowry System, does not end after giving dowry, it actually starts from there"

The curse of the Dowry System leads to problems like a financial burden on the bride’s family. Parents spend all the money they saved for years on their daughter’s wedding and gifts to please the groom. They take loans and debts from all possible sources which ultimately results in lower standards of living. 

It gives rise to corruption, a more widespread social evil. The bride’s family, to provide a dowry, voluntarily or under pressure borrows to fulfill the demands. The need for money forces them to take bribes, indulge in unfair and unlawful activities,,,,, and meet the demands through black money. 

One of the most tragic and painful issues that the Dowry System gives rise to, is domestic violence, which is no less than an agonizing death. Girls who don’t fulfill the groom’s demands are tortured and beaten to death. Girls go through a lot of trauma, both mentally and physically. When they do not comply with such irrational demands, they are rejected, abused, tortured,,,,, and killed. This leads to complete injustice towards girls, which again forces them to believe that they are a burden to their family, and commit suicide under intense emotional stress to lighten the burden of the family. 

As a result of dowry systems in today's society, many poor parents find it difficult to get their daughters married without a dowry. This results in poor parents taking out marriage loans. Every day, more than a dozen women are killed and many more are harassed and victimized. Some commit suicide after suffering extreme suffering and mental torture for refusing to pay dowry demands. Few cases are ever prosecuted. Dowry should be abolished as it is a taboo in our society and every woman should be proud to visit her in-laws. In India, 5 out of 10 families are affected by dowry. Although the government has enacted several legislations, this practice still persists in our society. Thus, we all need to take action to combat this issue. Starting with our own families is the first step. At home, boys and girls should be treated equally and provided with equal opportunities. They should both be educated and provided access to a full range of resources. Bringing up a daughter to be educated and free is the greatest gift that a parent can give to her. Education will help her become financially stable and a valuable member of the family, as well as earn respect from those around her. The marriage registration authority must keep a record of all dowry receipts and payments to protect in case of separation or unwanted incidents in the future. Parents can remove this curse from our society only if they have the courage. Secondly, legal amendments must be made. Laws, without a doubt, establish a pattern of behavior, engage social conscience, and aid efforts to reform them. 

This evil system puts in the mind of the society that boys should be given preference over girls which leads to gender inequality, which further gives birth to problems like female foeticide that ultimately leads to the problem of gender imbalance. 

There are several ways to stop this injustice towards girls; the most important among them is education. Education plays a very important role in empowering women; it helps them to stand on their own feet; inculcates confidence in them and enables them to independently take decisions and fight for their rights. 

Gender equality is very important to get an equal stature for women. This can only be achieved when the mindset of the society will change; when awareness is spread of how women have achieved milestones in all spheres of life and that they are no less than men. 

Many laws have been passed to protect women from domestic violence like the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005, to stop the practice of this dowry system through The Dowry Prohibition Act 1961, but these also have loopholes. The exchange of assets is not monitored voluntarily and the lack of proper investigation procedures is the reason why the Dowry system still prevails, which means that the laws have been passed but have not been implemented strictly.  Such laws must be strictly implemented so that the people fear taking its name. There should be no tolerance policy in such cases.

Finally, it’s all about women and their fight for equality and justice which will be achieved only if society understands that a woman is water and the socicommunitythe fish, just like the fish cannot survive without water, society can’t survive without women.   The practice of the Dowry System will diminish by overhauling of sets, which won’t happen in a day or two but will take quite some time for people to accept the bitter truth.